April's life was fairly typical until she was introduced at the age of 21 to hard drugs. She has six children, 5 of which, suffered through the addiction with her. Join her as she graphically describes the struggles in her life because of addiction and the triumphs she has had because she has maintained recovery. She's been featured numerous times in AA Grapevine & with In Recovery Magazine.


​​​This pregnancy pisses me off more and more each day. I watch him party with our friends and I have to take it easy. Everyone looks at me as if I am a criminal if I drink even a sip of beer. My fantasies of having a happy little family with a white picket fence have dissolved into a tiny apartment overlooking a crowded parking lot. Even with both of us working, the bills keep stacking up. I am not sure how in the fuck we are gonna take care of this kid.

Thoughts of adoption run through my mind. Maybe I should give it up to a family that has the money to give it a good life.

With four months to go to my due date, I stand in the kitchen, looking in the fridge at a beer. Before I can stop myself, it is in my mouth and down the throat. I just don’t give a fuck. One beer isn’t going to hurt this baby.

A few hours and a six pack later, Brendan comes home with a few buddies and some dope. He looks my way as he taps the bag.

“This is good shit, baby. You want to do a little?”


The other guys look at him like he’s an asshole. I hurriedly say yes before he changes his mind.

Without thinking twice I am suddenly anxious to see what all the buzz is about. Brendan is in such a good mood when he puts this stuff up his nose. I always feel left out and I am so sick of feeling like shit all the time. Anything that will make it easier to get through this pregnancy is fine with me.

​He cuts me out a pencil thin line...




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